The word narcissist has become a word to describe a person who basically has not empathy and has an over excessive need for admiration and attention .There never will be a happy relationship when seeing such a person because the relationship will for sure be toxic and mental and emotional abuse will be present .
So what are you not going to have if your in relationship with a Narc ?
1)Have a voice
When you are in a relationship with a Narcissist you are very rarely heard . You can try and express your feelings but they do not care to listen ,so they don’t .What ever has happened to upset you which usually comes from something they have done will not be up for discussion . They do not like to be blamed or held accountable for their actions so they will turn the situation back on to you. It does not matter what it is about it is always your fault and if you are not saying sorry to them they will attack .You will be the one called your too insecure ,you too needy ,your always at them ,your ungrateful ,you are useless ,you are nothing and the list goes .The sad result of trying to express how you feel can turn into a rage of vicious mental abuse and after it you will be left drained in everyway .This behaviour does not end ,everytime you try to express your feelings the same thing will happen until eventually you stop trying cause it hurts to much and you just do not try anymore and its so damaging to you .if this sounds familiar to you get out before it destroys you .You should always be able to speak your truth especially in your intimate relationship .
2)You won’t know what true love is
You will never know what true love is .Sad but true .The Narc is more interested in controlling you and using you for his or her own supply .They do not love themselves so how could they possibly love you .
At the beginning you might have felt like it was true love .They seemed perfect ,they seemed perfect for you but that was all a game to get you hooked .In true love relationships people do not change .There will be ups and downs of course but thats life .Life with a Narc seems to have mostly downs followed by use and abuse tactics .The highs get higher but shorter lived and the lows get more and last longer. Its more like living in hell than heaven .True love never makes you feel that way .
3)You won’t have friends
Of course you will have some friends but not many and you will do very little with the ones you have .If you are a female I assure you there won’t be any male friends and if there was at the beginning of the relationship there will not be any by the end of it . You will eventually give them up because anytime you speak about them there will be argument and even some threatening of what they might do to them .As for the friends you have the Narc will always know where and what you are doing when you are with them .They won’t like your friends trust me on this one . They will slag them off to you but never do it to your friends face . You will be told they are a bad influence on you .When you have plans with your friends ,they will make plans so you can’t see them. When you are with your friends he or she will be checking in to see what your up too .You start to become isolated and doing things you love become hard work because there is always an issue after you have been out .
4)You won’t have intimacy
Sex will be present but intimacy not so much .
The Narcissist is not very good a giving they are born takers so the only time you will feel intimate with them is when they want sex .
They are selfish lovers ,the act is all about them and you will be lucky if they ever pleasure you .
Holding hands ,hugging ,gentle kisses ,nights cuddling on the sofa ,slow dancing ,making love is not what you get when your in a relationship with Narc and the worse part about is when you try you to give to them you can be told there is something wrong with you for expecting these things from them .So you stop and now you live in a life that has no intimacy and you begin to except this as normal .
5)You won’t feel safe
Feeling safe with someone is very important when you are in relationship .When you argue with them you should not be afraid of what they might do to you and if you want to leave the relationship you should not stay because you are afraid of what they may do to you if you do leave There is nothing safe about living this way .Remember you can not share your feelings with out being attacked so you are always on edge. It just sits inside you like a horrible unsettling feeling like something bad is always going to happen and this my friends is not what it feels like to be safe .
6)They will never be there for you when you need them
They will never be there for you when you need them but they will make sure you are always there for them when they need you .It will not matter if your sick ,grieving ,upset or just having a bad day they will not be there to comfort you .It will feel like the loneliest place in the world to be with this person and honestly it is .Writing this makes me think so many situations I get left to deal with and get on with without any comfort or support I am truly amazed with what I put with but I will never do it again .
7)You will never reach your potential
You will never be able to be who you really are and you will never get to do all you dreamed of .
Keeping you small and in need is exactly their plan .Do remember this though ,they know your potential and thats why they want you but they never want you to know it .You will never grow in the relationship ,you will never feel free to build your dream .Achievements will be unreachable, they will always put obstacles in your way .There will be a price to pay each time you try to live to your potential .It will seem like everything you try to do never works and they will be there saying I told you so but the truth will be you never get to go all in and you can not build dreams without support and encouragement which they will never give .
P.S All these things however are possible and are all there for you to experience when you leave .You deserve to be you fully and you deserve to be with someone who lets you be .
#Inspiringthepowerofyou